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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  June 17, 2015 12:36am-1:38am EDT

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i think you're a joke but i don't find you ♪ ♪ very funny ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! come on, that's the way to do it, right there. that's the way to do it, pal! courtney barnett! [ cheers and applause ] "sometimes i sit and think, and sometimes i just sit" is out now. my thanks to billy crystal, jeb bush, courtney barnett once again! [ cheers and applause ] good job, guys. and the roots right there of course, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow, everybody. bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- amanda seyfried. director and author judd apatow. cooking with katie lee. featuring the 8g band with chad smith. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight. [ cheers and applause ] good to be here. good to be here.
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let's open up with some very exciting news. donald trump -- announced today that he is running for president. [ cheers ] and based on the amount of bronzer he uses, he's running for president of the spokane naacp. [ laughter and applause ] because there's an opening. there's currently an opening. go where the openings are. any hockey fans here? any hockey fans in the house tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. congratulations to the chicago blackhawks. the chicago blackhawks defeated tampa bay last night to win the stanley cup. the stanley cup, or as it's known in chicago soda fountain's a medium. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] you don't have to clap. you don't have to clap. i knew it wasn't going to work, i still did it. that's how much i like that
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joke. one for you. one for me. [ laughter ] and english couple, this is a very sweet story, an english couple has become the world's oldest newlyweds at the ages of 91 and 103. [ audience ohs ] the couple registered at bed, bath & the great beyond. [ laughter and applause ] that's right. an english couple has become the couple's oldest newlyweds, at get this at the ages of 91 and 103. so you have a year to get them a gift, but i wouldn't wait that long. [ laughter ] rush. rush to the mall. we mentioned earlier, former spokane naacp president rachel dolezal said today that she doesn't think of herself as a con artist. of course, she also doesn't think of herself as a white lady, but she is.
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[ laughter and applause ] so we take what you think. this is amazing. a new report says that the earthquake that hit nepal in april moved mt. evrest over an inch to the southwest. over one inch to the southwest. said one geologist, "oh, there it is." [ laughter ] i was looking there. it was there. ah, oh, oh. a pittsburgh man, this is true, a pittsburgh man managed to rob a bank yesterday using a vibrator. [ laughter ] and i guess all he had to say was "my grandma used this," and they just handed him the money. [ applause ] [ laughter ]
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not sure if you guys heard this. an english couple has become the world's oldest newlyweds. by getting married at the ages of 91 and 103. and this is great. the wedding was open casket. [ audience ohs ] oh. [ applause ] thank you. is that a rim shot or you fell over? you fell over on your drum. the crazy thing is, my head writer alex baze said that last open casket joke wasn't going to work. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. how -- how right you were. [ laughter ] he's going to lord this over me. and finally, this is incredible, iran has launched a website designed to encourage young single people to get married. it's like j-date but without the js. [ laughter ] because it's iran. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how we doing, 8g band? i think the j-date joke -- i think it would have gone better except they were still thinking about open casket. i think that's what happened. and now because we're talking about open casket you can't cut it. [ laughter ] tricked you. [ laughter ] see how i just did that? see what i did? that's right. like ahh. you guys sitting in on drums all week from the red hot chili peppers chad smith is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] so honored, so excited to have you here. >> thank you. >> seth: chad is also an ambassador for the upcoming make music day which takes place this sunday on june 21st. check out makemusicday.org for more information. and thank you so much for being
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here, chad. >> my pleasure. >> seth: so happy you're going to be here today as well as the rest of the week. you know, when you do comedy for a living there are some days where you just don't know what to talk about. you read through the news and it's just so dry and boring you can't even begin to see where the jokes might be. and then on other days -- >> i am officially running for president of the united states. >> seth: that's right, everybody! that's right. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump announced today that he will be throwing his hat into the ring for the presidential nomination. trump's daughter ivanka introduced him and with anticipation high he made sure not to keep the crowd waiting. >> hold on, everybody. here we go. we've got to listen to this with bated breath. here he comes, everyone. donald trump. >> don't you like the music? ♪
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♪ >> seth: where was he? [ laughter ] did he get lost in one of his own buildings? while they were waiting for donald, fox news filled the air in the most professional way they know how, by making sexist comments. >> you think the women at fox take a long time in the dressing room. [ audience ohs ] >> seth: you know what, no. not today. donald trump is running for president. i'm not going to let you ruin my day. this whole ordeal is like watching fox news cover a rain delay in baseball. >> so that's like neil young. >> they are playing neil young. yes. >> what's name of the song? >> "rocking in the free world." >> keep on rocking in the free world. okay. and the crowd is looking to the left of the screen. >> here's something. top row. >> on the top row. >> oh, there he is. from on high. the donald appears. thumb's up. comes down the escalator. >> seth: finally.
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finally trump was there with his wife and fox covered the escalator ride with yet another classy comment. >> this will definitely be the best looking first lady. >> seth: no. i'm pushing through. also riding down an escalator is not the most presidential way to make an entrance. are you going to make a speech, or are you going to baggage claim? [ laughter ] all right. one more sexist comment and let's get this thing on the road. >> what's his wife's name again? >> um -- >> seth: uhh -- hotty von hottington. finally trump made it to stage and in a speech cobbled together from your forwarded e-mails from your uncle he let us know what he thought america needed. >> our country needs a truly great leader. and we also need a cheerleader. >> seth: and then, donald trump got straight to the cheerleading. >> our country is in serious trouble. we as a country are getting weaker. we are like a third world
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country. the u.s. has become a dumping ground for everybody else's problems. >> seth: a dumping ground for everybody else's problems? then what's "celebrity apprentice?" [ laughter and applause ] oh, right. no, i remember now. i remember now. "celebrity apprentice " is a contest with 16 participants who will do or say anything to win. that sounds familiar, too. oh, right. that's also the republican primary. trump laid out some of his policies many of which rested on his toughness, ability to make a deal and experience in construction. >> nobody would be tougher on isis than donald trump. i beat china all the time. all the time. i have so many websites. i have them all over the place. i would build a great wall, and nobody builds wall better than me, believe me.
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>> seth: i'm not sure about president, but i do know a recently vacated position that could use a man with your kind of thinking in regards to walls. [ audience ohs ] okay, knight watch, first things first. the vow of celibacy is over. we protect the realm, we should be able to get our swords clean if you know what i mean. also, who is this melisandre? is she single? trump also addressed concerns about his personality. >> somebody said to me the other day, a reporter, very nice reporter, but, mr. trump, you're not a nice person. >> we don't need nice. >> that's true, but actually i am. i think i am a nice person. >> seth: yeah, why would anyone think you weren't a nice person? >> when mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. they're bringing drugs. they're bringing crime. they're rapists. >> seth: okay. that wasn't the nicest. trump then spoke to those who predicted he would never run for president because it would mean disclosing his finances claiming that trump doesn't have as much
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money as he says he has. >> so a large accounting firm and my accountants have been working for months because it's big and complex, and they put together a statement, a financial statement. >> seth: only one piece of paper? when did an accountant ever put anything on one piece of paper? my cable bill is three pieces of paper. [ laughter ] >> i have assets, big accounting firm, one of the most highly respected, $9.240 billion. i'm not doing that to brag. because you know what? i don't have to brag. i don't have to. believe it or not. >> seth: no, there's a word for saying you're not bragging because you don't have to brag. it's called bragging. now come on, donald. [ applause ] i know you. you can do this without bragging.
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>> i don't care. i'm really rich. >> seth: all right, you know what, never mind. never mind. never mind. what's really important here is how a trump presidency affects the republican field. to put it in jurassic terms, this is how the other gop candidates reacted to the news today. [ laughter ] trump in the race means trump getting attention. trump getting attention means trump making statements. trump making statements means all the other candidates have to respond to trump and that takes away the ability for the gop to have adult conversations about how they want to run this country. at the end of the day you have to hand it to trump. he spoke off the cuff for 52 minutes and did something few presidential candidates ever do. he made a promise i am sure he will keep. >> i promise i will never be in a bicycle race that i can tell you. >> seth: but i would pay to see that. welcome aboard, donald trump. [ cheers and applause ]
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you guys, we have a great show for you tonight. from the new film "ted 2" amanda seyfried is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he just wrote a book called "sick in the head: conversations about life and comedy." writer/director judd apatow is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] always a thrill to talk to judd. she's got a summer cook book. it's called "endless summer cook book." chef katie lee will be joining us this evening. we're going to be making some food with her. we will be right back with more "late night" right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. now have you ever noticed that when you google something there are millions of results? usually you only look at the first page or two, but i started to wonder about those last few pages where the internet becomes weirder -- [ laughter ] lonelier, stranger so allow me now to take you into the bowels of the internet with a segment we call "deep google." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] so, i thought since father's day coming up we could start our planning now by googling father's day. here's the first page of results for father's day about what you would expect, wikipedia page, big reminder of the date but
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look at the bottom at all those os in google. that means we can go deeper. deeper into "deep google." ♪ [ applause ] [ light laughter ] let's check out what's on page eight. archaeological -- i said that right. site of the first father's day. let's click on that. archaeologists have unearthed perfectly preserved gifts believed to be from the site of the first ever father's day, dating back to about 9,000 b.c. in the neolithic era. let's see what the gifts are, a golf club fashioned from the femur of a saber tooth tiger, neck pelts, and wait if you look closely at the tag, yep, it's from nautica and of course the complete rolling stones box set which is a set of actual rolling stones in a box. [ cheers and applause ] folks, we haven't even gotten started. we can get so much deeper, deeper into "deep google." ♪
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[ light laughter ] let's check out page 84 in the search results. yahoo! answers from 2001, brad howard jr. asked how long does it take dad to come back from buying cigarettes? oh, no. oh, no, and it looks like he -- he keeps asking the same question every year. brad. i don't know how to say this, buddy, but he's not coming back. you know what? let's just look further down on that results page. let's see what they are. okay, father's day erotic fiction. i'm sorry, everybody, but i think i have to see this. erotic fantasies written for and by dads. i probably shouldn't be looking at this at work, but would you guys like to hear some erotic father's day fiction? [ cheers and applause ] let's see. this first one -- looks like this story is called "moving fast." ♪ david and kevin stared across the lawn, sweat dripping down their necks in the late august sun. nice weber grill, said kevin.
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[ laughter ] thanks, david replied. i got it for free all on rewards points. [ laughter ] kevin blushed. he couldn't wait any longer. i need you -- i need to tell you something. he leaned in close. his breath hot and moist. i found a faster way to get to the delaware memorial bridge than taking i-95. [ laughter ] david could feel his heart in his throat. he looked down. he was fully erect. [ applause ] [ laughter ] i don't know if i like that. but folks, here's the crazy thing. that was only page 84. we've gots -- gots to go deeper into the vastness expanse of "deep google." ♪ [ laughter ] page 666, the devil's number. i can be a little devil myself sometimes. why do i say everything writers
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write for me? look at this father's day gift emporium. stepfather's day cards. let's see that. all right. he may not be the most important man in your life, but your mom seems to like him so show him you care. [ laughter ] let's take a look at the cards. this is the first one. thank you for always being there for me, and by there i mean the bar. look at the next one. here we go, roses are red, violets are blue, when my dad gets out of prison he's going to kill you. [ laughter ] see the last one is a picture of father and son fishing. you'll never be my real dad. folks, that was some pretty deep googling, but have i satisfied my thirst? of course not. so, onward we forge. to the very bottom of the nightmarish wasteland that is "deep google." [ bleep ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] got to put it on the cards. got to tell me which way to turn.
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that's on you guys. [ laughter ] okay, finally page 944, the very last page. livesons.biz chat with real sons in live web cam shows. i feel like i should be in incognito mode for this. let's see here. for lonely parents only. this is not porn. okay, that's good to know. only the best selection of real sons 24/7 travis in time-out, andrew at college, denny plays catch. we're too deep in now. let's take a look. ♪ >> hi, dad, it's denny. i got my mitt and i can't wait to toss the ball around with you. >> i just need 300 e-tokens for my allowance first. why thanks, daddy ted. anyone else? oh, geez, mr. mendelssohn, you're the best. only 50 more to go. gee, i really want to play catch with my dads. but denny needs money to go on a class trip. oh, my goodness.
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callmepapa72 you're the best. now we can play because i have all my allowance. hey, go long. [ laughter ] >> oh, i definitely think that's porn for somebody. [ laughter ] this has been "deep google." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." ♪ "what would you give someone who taught you how to ride a bike? who drove through the night to be at your graduation. what would you give someone who taught you not to be afraid of making mistakes and never expected you to be anything other than yourself. the greatest gift for someone who gave you these moments. is to give those moments back." dewar's. the most awarded blended scotch in history. with revolutionary hanex-temp technologyocks
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♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a talented actress who you know from films like "les miserables" and "mama mia." up next you can see her in the highly anticipated "ted 2" which
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hits theaters friday, june 26. let's take a look. >> my uncle says that you guys are my first clients. >> it's been discussed -- but you mind if i ask how old you are? >> i'm 26. >> ah. >> well, is there a problem? >> well, you know, i just don't want my lawyers singing "frozen" songs during the opening argument. >> i'm samantha jackson. >> ted. how are ya? >> good to meet you. john. >> wait, wait, wait. what's your middle name. >> leslie. >> oh, my god, you're sam l. jackson. >> just likes sam l. jackson. >> who is that? >> you ever seen any movie ever? he's the black guy. >> seth: please welcome amanda seyfried. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how are you? >> yeah. not too bad.
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>> seth: so nice to have you here. >> thanks for having me. >> seth: this is very exciting that you're in "ted 2." >> it's really exciting. it sure is. >> seth: because based on the first "ted" this one should be really good. [ light laughter ] >> well, let's hope, yeah. you never know. >> seth: a lot resting on you. >> you still don't know. >> seth: you worked with seth mcfarlane before on "ways to die in the west." >> yes. >> seth: is it true that you asked him to put you in the movie? >> yeah, jokingly. i was just like how are you going to incorporate me into the film? like how is it going to make any sense. >> seth: oh, so you just talked like you were already in it and he had to figure it out. >> yeah, exactly. >> seth: smart. >> it was a joke. [ laughter ] joke's on me, or is it? yeah, and then he called me up like months and months later and he's like we don't really have a script but what are you doing in june. >> seth: yeah. >> i was like, yeah, i don't know, nothing. so here i am. >> seth: i will say this is fun because you're in a big summer movie franchise but it's a little bit lower key than some of your big summertime movies. >> yeah, listen this -- for tenfolds this is as far as i'll go. i mean, usually they're like action films, marvel films, or
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something like that, and we all have to do those things in business -- for business purposes. >> seth: yeah, sure. >> international value. >> seth: sure, yeah. >> and -- and -- this is -- this is nice. >> seth: there are those super hero movies -- that's how i like to watch them that i like to say, you know they're only doing this for international value. [ laughter ] >> oh, god, no. no, i know that's terrible. they're highly enjoyable. i love being an audience member. >> seth: yes. >> i just don't want to put on the suit. >> seth: i don't wanna do -- yeah. i'm not a stunt person either. you do not like stunts, is this correct in. >> nope, i'm not into that. that's not where i see my career going. >> seth: but you've done some like wire work? have you done -- >> yeah. never again. >> seth: so you did have to do a move where you're flying around? >> i just -- i did a cameo in a movie and it turned into just a big nightmare for me. it's not really a nightmare. it's a wonderful movie by joe wright called "pan." it's coming out this year. >> seth: okay. >> amazing. >> seth: when you say "pan" i'm guessing we're talking peter. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah, okay, gotcha. the best of the pans. >> right. >> seth: the best of the pans. >> right, but when i signed on i didn't -- there was no wire work or green screen stuff happening.
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>> seth: you thought this would be just be the sitting peter pan? [ laughter ] >> well i -- i am not playing a fairy. >> seth: oh gotcha, okay, gotcha. >> so, why would i be flying around, like throwing up in my mouth? >> seth: and then they threw that in there last second. >> oh, gosh. yeah, like two months ago. i had to go back to london and i was flying and i was just like please. i didn't sign up for it. >> seth: well, that's good that you weren't a fairy 'cause then kids would say "why is that fairy so sad all the time?" [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: why does the fairy keep throwing up in the background? >> my acting instincts out the window. >> seth: you're very busy. you are doing an off broadway play right now. >> yeah. >> seth: a week to go, congratulations. >> thanks. >> seth: but you have terrible stage fright. you've never done a play before. >> i'm terrified. right now i am. >> seth: and you did this to get through your stage fright. is that why you decided to do an off broadway play? >> pretty much. you know, the only way through fear is through it. >> seth: no, you run away. [ laughter ] that's the other way. >> yes, listen, i know all about running away. >> seth: okay. so you did it for -- you ran away for a long time. >> children, don't run away from your fears, fight them and
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you'll come out a more fulfilled human being. >> seth: wow, and did it work? >> i'm not sure yet. but ask me in like a couple months. >> seth: okay, great. well, congratulations. it's a really cool reason to do it. >> it's so fun. it's so fun. >> seth: you -- i -- here's what would be my fear being at a broadway show. i even feel this as an audience member is shows off broadway, broadway, a lot of noise from the crowd. people in new york, a very vocal lot. >> yeah, and you know what? we have a really small theater. it's 300 seats and there's a lot of acoustics and people like to eat -- i don't know what they are eating all the time, pretzels or something. [ light laughter ] i don't know what it is, but they -- we make them really hungry for some reason so i'm constantly hearing that -- someone screamed -- we have this twist, it's called the way we get by, one more week, and we have this twist and someone after all the laughter subsided someone was like "what?" and then tommy, my co-star, and i just corpsed and it sucked for a moment we just like -- we couldn't help it. >> seth: yeah. >> people like to get involved when you're on stage.
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>> seth: it is -- it always seems to me that you know, every third show i go to there's a couple where one of them needs to ask the other one what the person just said. >> yes. >> seth: and they bought their tickets late enough that there are two people between them. >> right. >> seth: so there's a lot of like, "what did he say?" >> yeah, exactly. i mean, there's been a lot of whispering, but you can't let that get you down. you've got to -- the show must go on. >> seth: as a performer when you hear whispering, what do you assume is going on? >> i assume they are talking about me. [ laughter ] i assume i'm being judged. high school, man. it just never goes away. >> seth: that's true. when you hear a whisper you never think, she's wonderful, i think she's the -- >> no, not at all. like, even as like a celebrity or whatever, you walk down the street and see people whispering and you know they are whispering about you, and it's just -- i just assume they're talking [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you ever have -- because sometimes i find, that especially in new york, you walk by and people willl say if they recognize you they will say your full name at full volume and think you can't hear it.
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[ laughter ] like they'll say "hey, that was seth meyers." and then i'm like, "now i'm like, well, what am i supposed to do?" >> i think people just assume that we're blind or deaf or both. >> seth: yeah. >> and it's kind of sad, because, you know, we're just normal people. >> seth: you're normal because you have a dog and that's a normal person thing but your dog is not normal. >> i do. >> seth: i do, too. your dog is a bit of an internet celebrity. >> well, i made it that way. >> seth: it's your fault. it's not like -- your dog didn't set up an instagram account. >> nope, no, he didn't. >> seth: but um -- this is a pretty good one. this is you and your dog and jon stewart. that's a real -- >> i had a funny story. i was in london the other day, doing press for "ted 2" and my dog sitter was like we just ran into jon stewart on the street and i was like "oh, that's really cool" and finn was on his show a couple months ago and jon fell in love with him and he did a double take at finn and my dog sitter is like "you do know him" and jon was like "it's finn" and i wish i would have been there but it wouldn't have happened that way.
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>> seth: i wish he walked by finn and said "that was finn" really loud and have finn go -- [ laughter ] >> finn actually would have looked. >> seth: exactly. 'cause we think like it might be weird. right exactly. where finn's like "i don't care who they are? i'm looking at everybody." you have a ball? thank you so much for being here. we're gonna get you to your show. >> thanks for having me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: amanda eyfried, everyone. "ted 2" opens everywhere on june 26. we'll be right back with judd apatow. ♪ started my camry. remembered the choices i've made. to be bold where others are scared. to show her right from wrong. and realized my little girl had become an amazing human being,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. our next guest is a writer, director, and producer and is responsible for blockbusters like "the 40-year-old virgin," "knocked up" and "bridesmaids." his new film, "trainwreck", will be in theaters july 17th. he's also the author of a new book entitled, "sick in the head: conversations about life and comedy." please welcome back to the show -- judd apatow. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome.
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>> i'm a little -- i'm a little flummoxed. >> seth: what flummoxed you? >> well, i went downstairs to visit steve higgins. >> seth: steve higgins is the announcer on the "the tonight show." >> and then in the hallway there is jeb bush. >> seth: jeb bush! that's right he was on "the tonight show" tonight. >> and then i said "hello" to him. >> seth: yeah. >> as you would because who knows? >> seth: right. [ laughter ] got to get in on the ground floor. >> he could become the president and i need an in. i got to cover both my bases. >> seth: and you will say "i knew you when." >> exactly. and then steve and i started talking to him. so he did one bit and then i guess he had another bit later in the show, and the next thing you know, we're just like talking to jeb bush for i think for like 25 minutes. >> seth: really? >> it was a really long conversation. >> seth: now, was it one of those conversations, sometimes when you talk to people especially from worlds you're not familiar with, that you're constantly like judging how you're doing in the conversation. >> not at all. >> seth: okay. you were just --it was a full regular conversation. >> i was like, "this is weird." he announced yesterday. he could become the president and he's stuck with me. [ laughter ] >> seth: and did he -- know who you were?
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was he familiar --. >> i had no sense he did. >> seth: okay. gotcha. [ laughter ] gotcha. so that's weird. >> but very nice, very nice man, and i took a picture of him. >> seth: you did. >> well, because who knows. i don't bump it into people. >> seth: yeah. let's turn it that way. turn it to three, there you go. ah, that's it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's really good. >> do you want to know what his diet is? >> seth: do you wanted to know what his diet is? >> sure, i'll tell you his diet. he went paleo. >> seth: he did, really? >> yeah, just like lebron james. >> seth: wow. you know what's funny? is you realize, it didn't matter if he knew who you were or not, because when you're a politician, you have to be nice to everybody. when you're running for president that's -- imagine how exhausting that would be. >> it's a drag. because it's just this one moment in the day when you take a picture with somebody, and you don't look happy, it's going to go viral. one person is like, "hey can i get a selfie" and you're like --" >> seth: right. but then the other way when that works against you is when you're a politician, you have to be happy all the time. like a picture of like rumsfeld and saddam hussein, when you're like "i'm a politician, i should be happy" and that picture follows you for rest of the life and they're like "why were you so happy in that photo with saddam hussein?"
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>> why do you love hitler? >> seth: right, why do you love him? this is something -- this book has been in the works forever. you started interviewing comedians when you were 15 years old. >> that's true. >> seth: you worked for your school's radio station? >> we had a radio station, "the signal" in syosset on long island. thank you. it barely got out of parking lot. my friend used to go interview people like r.e.m. and i thought maybe i can get comedians to talk to me for our radio station. so, i would call up their publicist and say "i'm with wkwz radio", and i wouldn't say it's a high school radio station, i just pretended it was a real radio station, and i interviewed steve allen and jerry seinfeld and leno all in like 1984. >> seth: this is some really exciting photographs. this is you, a very young you, and jerry seinfeld. look at that. >> and look at how -- this is how hard he works. [ applause ] that's his shelves. that's jerry's shelves. look what he has on the shelves. nothing. look at walls, nothing. this guy is writing jokes. >> seth: this is the great
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steve allen and this is really exciting -- is this true, this is your recording device? >> yeah, look at the recording device. it is literally a boom box. [ laughter ] >> seth: you just brought a boom box. >> i didn't have the equipment. i was 15 years old. >> seth: you and jay leno actually gave you feedback on some of your material. >> well that -- you know, when i got a little older i wanted to write for comedians. >> seth: yeah. >> and so one of the first people i tried to write for was jay leno and he was hosting "the tonight show" here and there, and i wrote a whole bunch of jokes and sent it to him, and one night at midnight the phone rings. my grandma answers. i lived with her, because i can't afford an apartment, and then i hear "judd, jay leno's on the phone", and i'm like "hello" and he's like "hey, i read your material, and it wasn't really that good." "i mean, it's close." "it's close, but -- but you got to keep working at it", and i'm like "this is the nicest man in the world." who calls people to say the material is terrible? >> seth: yeah. that's above and beyond in
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kindness. >> would you do that? would you do that? >> seth: no. >> yeah. >> seth: and when people submit things and they say we would love for you to read that and then even if you don't like it, i'd love your feedback. i want to say, "well, if i don't like it then i don't want to give you feedback." >> my feedback is silence. >> seth: yeah. the nicest way i can tell you what you need to hear is by not saying a word. >> exactly. >> seth: you -- speaking of comedians, bill cosby. >> yes. >> seth: you were someone who sort of vocally and on social media was one of the first people in this wave of cosby news that was very critical of him. >> sure. >> seth: you received some negative pushback from that. right, some people said -- >> some people say, "why do you talk about it?" which is kind of like saying, like, "leave the rapist alone." >> seth: sure, yeah. >> right? like, aren't we supposed to say we don't like this? >> seth: yeah, i agree. >> but i feel bad. he's on the road now. he doesn't want to leave the road. he's doing gigs. >> seth: yeah he's doing a lot of stand up. >> doing standup around the country, and i think the reason he does it is so he doesn't have to go home to his wife because
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then he would have to explain everything. he's always on the phone going, "camille, i'd love to come home, but i have a gig at the panera bread in west covina." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i like what was established tonight is you are the greatest impressionist of comedians on phones. >> exactly. >> seth: leno, you're leno on the phone. you're cosby, the best phone impressions. >> i can't do them in person, although i can do tony roberts. >> seth: tony roberts from the woody allen films. from "annie hall." >> twins max, imagine the possibilities. >> seth: that's a really good tony roberts, and for this generation that's what they have been waiting for. >> they love it. >> seth: you directed "trainwreck" with amy schumer. >> that's right. >> seth: very exciting. that's coming out soon, i can't wait. >> mid-july. >> she is such an incredible comedian. a film she wrote. and most exciting though, lebron james in your film. >> lebron james is in the movie which is great, because i get to direct him, which means as kind of a nerdy jewish guy. for a week, i get to boss around lebron james.
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>> seth: yeah, well, i have a photo i want to ask you about because here, this is a famous photo of lance stepheson blowing in lebron's ear. that's kind of a big thing. >> this is me directing lebron james. >> seth: this is you directing. you went the same move. [ laughter ] the same move. >> you know, if he's not going to do it right, i've got to correct him. >> seth: i did think he learned not to lean down, because then the blow is so much farther from the ear. >> i'm trying to reach up to the ear, but he is so funny in the movie. it's weird because it's not a cameo. >> seth: yeah. >> he actually has a large part. >> seth: he really has a huge part, he plays hader's best friend. >> yeah, he's in the bruno kirby part. >> seth: fantastic. >> and he is hilarious and was a great guy and we're all rooting for him, i guess. they play tonight. >> seth: they play tonight. hopefully by the time this airs, we are going to a game seven. judd, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: always a pleasure to have you. >> seth: judd apatow, everybody! the book is called "sick in the head" and look for "train wreck" in theaters july 17th. we'll be back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." we're here with katie lee, welcome to the show. she is going to show us how to make a few recipes from her latest cookbook "endless summer cookbook", right here. so tell us what we're making today. >> i'm so excited to be here. we're going to make lobster reubens. >> seth: lobster reubens. >> yes, a little spin on a classic -- >> seth: very exciting. >> but first, we're gonna start with some watermelon rum punch. >> seth: that's what i'm very happy to hear. >> this is the good stuff, right? >> seth: okay great, so. >> so first up is fresh watermelon juice. >> seth: great. >> so for this you just puree some watermelon in the blender. >> seth: okay. >> and that's it. >> seth: that's it, very easy. >> it's really easy, and the great thing about summer cocktails is that you really don't have to add sugar, because it's already sweet. >> seth: right, there's a lot of sugar in the watermelon itself. >> fresh orange juice. >> seth: okay, great. get to the fun part. boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, great. >> rum. >> seth: not enough. >> rum. >> seth: okay perfect. and so much more watermelon -- >> there was more watermelon. >> seth: and are we pouring it in here? >> yeah, we're going to pour it in there and then we're going to toss it with a little bit of
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ginger beer. >> seth: okay. >> so that we have a nice little zing. you get a little bit of spice that way and nice effervescence. >> seth: very exciting. >> so why don't you top it off with the ginger beer. >> seth: well, thank you for giving me a job. >> put you to work. >> seth: okay, great, great, thank you. >> and here's to summer. >> seth: and here's to summer and lots of reubens. there we go. [ applause ] >> that's good. >> seth: that's great. >> next time, more rum. >> seth: just a little bit more rum. alright, so moving on. >> okay, now it's time for the lobster reuben. [ laughter ] >> seth: welcome to my mansion. [ laughter ] there we go -- >> lobster reuben. first, i've got my lobster meat, here. why don't you make the sauce for it. so, mayonnaise. >> seth: gotcha. >> ketchup and pickle relish, so it's like a thousand island dressing. >> seth: great. >> and i'm going to put some salt in it, too. >> seth: okay. thank you. >> and some pepper. do you like lobster? >> seth: i do like lobster. >> this is something that you would eat? >> seth: i would eat lobster, yeah. >> okay, good. i'm always nervous that i'm
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going to make something that somebody doesn't want to eat. >> seth: i'm deathly allergic to it. if i'm within, even a foot of it, my throat closes. why, is this lobster? >> mix it in there. >> seth: okay great. >> just get it in there. >> seth: i know, i know the preposition "in." all right, great. >> mix it up. >> seth: there we go. >> and over there -- you know how on a reuben usually there's like sauerkraut? so that's just napa cabbage that i've shredded up. >> seth: okay. >> little rice vinegar, salt, pepper and celery seed. >> seth: great, and where do i put this? >> you're going to put it onto our sandwich but first, we gotta butter our bread. >> seth: great. >> so why don't you do this. butter some bread. >> seth: okay, gotcha. and put it on the bread, katie. >> put it on the bread. do you think you can understand -- >> seth: i'm not a chef. i don't have the same instincts as you. >> get it all around. >> seth: on all of it, okay great. i'm learning. oh my god, i'm a cook now. >> maybe you have a future career. >> seth: okay. there we go. i feel like i've done really well here.
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>> okay, you did a good job and do the other pieces now. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> a couple more. >> seth: this way now, if you're watching at home, you'll know how to do four. [ laughter ] >> yeah, you can make two sandwiches this way. >> seth: boy, oh, boy. all right. alright, there we go. >> okay, now we're going to build our sandwich. >> seth: okay, great. >> as soon as you get that bread buttered. >> seth: i got it. i got it. trust me, i can watch you do the next step and still butter bread. alright, there we go. >> okay, so now to build the sandwich we're going to start with some swiss cheese. >> seth: swiss cheese. boom. >> so that goes on. >> seth: okay, there we go. >> oh, come on. >> seth: there we go. there we go. all right, great. >> okay. so now the lobster, and i'm just going to put this on half because we're making two sandwiches, one for you, one for me. >> seth: gotcha, great. >> okay, so our lobster goes on. >> seth: they told you backstage i was 8, right? >> basically. okay, now put that on top. >> seth: okay. >> do you think you can handle that. >> seth: i can. i'm doing great. >> he's doing pretty good. >> seth: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> and that's the great thing about summer cooking. it's all easy. >> seth: mm-hmm.
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>> so now our sandwich top goes on. keep drinking. [ laughter ] all right. into the skillet. >> seth: there's so little rum in here. >> i'm glad you didn't put more rum in here, because you're really chugging it, you would be drunk by the end of this. okay, so, goes in for about four or five minutes on each side. you want it to get nice and golden brown. let's take this out of the skillet. >> seth: okay, can i have a bite, yet? >> it's hot, and then we're going to cut it in two. >> seth: okay. >> do you want me to do it or do you want to try? >> seth: no, you can do the cutting. >> okay, it's hot. >> seth: i know. >> it's like a grilled cheese with the lobster inside. >> seth: cheers. >> don't burn your mouth. >> seth: thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> did you burn the top of your mouth? yeah. i totally burned the roof of my mouth.
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>> seth: katie lee, everybody. her book, "the endless summer cookbook" is available in bookstores now. we'll be right back. it's excellent. it's excellent. >> thank you. >> seth: thank you. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to amanda seyfried, judd apatow, katie lee, chad smith, and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: well, what's happening everybody? i'm carson daly and tonight we're coming to you from amp radio here in los angeles with "lasll

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